THINGS I'VE LEARNT FROM A DECADE IN RETAIL...

At the start of this year I vowed to myself that I would never work another Christmas in retail. By this point I hadn't applied for any other jobs and I still wasn't really sure which direction my career was taking me. I just knew one thing and that was that this would be my last year in retail. I mean, don't get me wrong, never say never, maybe in the future I'll realise that retail was meant for me all along, however for now, I am so relieved and excited to, finally, be on the next path in my life.

I always think of myself as having quite a wide selection of jobs in my lifetime so far, however the reality of it is, they have all been customer service or retail based roles. Towards the end of my retail 'career', if you like, I don't think I've ever felt so low. My self worth was pretty much down the bog for a good chunk of 2018. I'd probably put this down to the thankless daily tasks, having the lowest paid wage out of all my peers, the unmanageable work load and feeling like my degree was, quite frankly, a complete waste of time. Don't get me wrong, there are times where I have genuinely loved my latest retail job, there are tonnes of things I'll be sad to leave behind, for example - the close knit 'family' feel to the company, the opportunities I was given that gave me my creative spark back every so often, the hot food choices at our morning break (lol) and the blissful feeling of walking out at 2pm on the dot every day. However, 2.5 years in, I knew it was my time to call it quits with retail.

A couple of months ago me and my friend Melissa met up just before she set off for her big Canadian adventure. Obviously we were reminiscing about tonnes of things, as well as our future goals and how we're at such a strange age - that age where everything is kind of in a weird limbo. I still don't feel ready to get married and have babies but I also don't feel like I want to go out and get wasted every single weekend. I feel like I want to be professional with in a career but I also feel scared by the prospect of responsibility and if I'm actually equipped for the changes and challenges. Despite the fact I did work full time in retail, I still felt as though 'retail' was associated with my teenage/university life - just a side line job that I didn't take too seriously and gave me some extra cash. As you can imagine, now I am a fully fledged 26 year old adult, the fact I had, in my mind, a teenagers job, with a teenagers wage, left me feeling like I was generally just failing at my life plan. At this point in time I knew that the retail industry wasn't changing any time fast, so it was I either put up and shut up, or I move on. This time around, it was the latter.

Anyway, I thought I'd do a little list of things I've learnt, appreciated and can take on in my next venture in life, now that I am embarking on the next change in my life.

1. Never underestimate what a retail job can teach you about life skills. 
I now know how to speak to the general public - how to exchange pleasantries with waiters, train station staff, receptionists, baristas, hairdressers, bus drivers, and most importantly, fellow retail staff. I've witnessed people (usually 45+ y/o's - no offence), literally scream at the poor sales assistant behind the till because its not possibly their fault that the item they want to return was bought over a year ago and not even in the same shop. It's humbling to know that I'll never ever (unnecessarily) be one of those 'can I speak to your manager' types - sigh.

2. Always remember your retail friends can't always make your weekend plans.
Please shoot me if this becomes me in the near future. I mean, don't actually....
"Can't you just book the weekend off?" "I know - lets do something over the bank holiday, that way I don't have to book any time off work but you still have to book 3 precious annual leave days (: (: (:" "Oooh you have a Saturday off!? Lets spend the day SHOPPING!!" Jesus christ - the thought of shopping on a Saturday gives me nightmares, even now that I'm out of retail!

3. Its just a shop.
This is something I'll always remember during my darker times in retail. When I look back now at the things I got upset over, or let the people get to me that did - I literally have a little chuckle. If you're currently in a retail job - I know it may seem hard, and the pressure is so high, especially with the retail climate and especially at this time of year but ultimately - its just a shop. There are people out in the world risking their lives to save others, there are global disasters, unthinkable poverty, animals becoming extinct - you name it, I'm sure it's happening somewhere out there. Do your best to sell your product and be the best you can to represent your company, but never sell your soul to someone else's brand/business. It's just not worth it. (Unless its YOUR shop/self run business - thats completely different, of course)

4. Don't judge or label retail workers.
Maybe my biggest learning curve, personally. I remember when I was around 17, I totally despised the times I had to leave my then boyfriend at home for my 8 hour shift every Saturday. I remember thinking, 'I am NEVER going to do this full time, HOW do people do this full time? Ugh'. (Honestly - who do I think I am sometimes?). Retail is one of four things for its staff - A full time career, a stepping stone, a building block, or a stopgap between study/career change. I've witnessed senior managers who have served over a decade in retail be spoken to like shit - would you do that over email to a Managing Directors or Head of whatever? I think bloody not. You may think shop staff are 'just' shop staff - but remember they're doing a job and providing you with a service. Be polite. Say thank you and don't go ape shit just because the specific coloured jumper you saw in an unknown Magazine back in Summer 2017, isn't in stock.

5. Take the positives from any job role.
I spent a lot of my time feeling underrated, unappreciated and just a bit sorry for myself during my retail career. However, it was my first ever full time job. I learnt what a proper full time routine felt like - how to manage my time and the many lessons I learnt about myself as a person through out this time. I learnt about how to appropriately speak to management to get to where I wanted to be, with out making a show and dance of it. I learnt that if I put in effort with something, it will eventually get noticed. Sit back and relax though, and It'll get noticed even more. The ups and downs of my retail career have landed me with the work ethic I have today. Relentless, hard working, focused and determined - on my terms. I know when to give myself a rest and I know how to manage my energy to in turn, produce my best work.

I'd be interested to know what you guys think of working in retail, if you have? Or what your perception of retail workers are.

PS - If you're shopping during this January Sale period, please do not just browse, buy lots and lots. It helps from a traffic and profit point of view, cheers.
Yours faithfully,
Ex retail worker who feels bad for the current climate x

WHAT I'VE LEARNT FROM THE BOYS I'VE LOVED

OK, BEFORE WE BEGIN - This blog post is not inspired by, 'To the boys I've loved before' on Netflix. I'm pretty sure I've talked about writing this blog post to a zillion of my friends (ok, all the 4ish I have), for ages. If you've followed me for a while, you'll know that relationships/love and all that jazz is something I enjoy writing about. (I wish I knew why, too). I've been single for as long as I can remember, (I mean, not that long - around 2 years now I guess?) and considering I've been loved up since the age of 17, with not many significant pauses in between, this lonesome gap has given me a lot of, lets say, reflection time.

#1

Number one, is obliged to be my number one - forever, I guess! Even though I am now 26, I still look back on this time in my life with great fondness and light hearted memories, (when I ignore all the fights/arguments lol). I will always feel so grateful for having a stereotypical 'first love'.
I fell in love for the first time when I'd not long turned 17. From what I remember of it, it was everything you'd hope it would be, the perfect recipe for a teenage romance. The boy that everyone seemed to have a crush on, had a crush on me (?!)(lol, 'crush'). Sneaking into bedrooms when we weren't permitted to have same bedroom sleepovers, falling asleep nose to nose. Thinking, texting, calling, skyping each other. Sleeping, breathing, living, side by side. Clinging to each other for dear life at every social event. Intense, emotional pillow talks and relentless sexual activity at any. given. moment. (I had sex on my stairs once, in a friends bathroom another (sorry friend - you still don't know this), 'did stuff' on an aeroplane another (A proud 'I have never' claim, I must admit). Completely obsessive, passionate, ridiculous - all the while still feeling like I was in my own little fairytale. I actually still have a diary from 2009 about this phase in my life and I'm pretty sure I'll keep them forever. (I know, vom)

Number one set my standards high from day one. Considering how young we were, he'd always make me feel genuinely looked after during emotional and traumatic times in my life and always seemed to support me. I was cared for and admired relentlessly until the end. However, number one also taught me to recognise the controlling aspect in a relationship, taught me how I should always expect support and encouragement, meanwhile remembering it's not okay to make each other feel bad for spending time with friends, or do things separately - have your own lives etc. In the end I know this is the reason we ended - as a little 20 year old, me and my romantic, curious and most importantly - young heart, just couldn't breath anymore.
Number one taught me - that 'real love' feeling does exist and to never settle for anything less. Taught me to always recognise perhaps, the toxic side of an obsessive relationship and although heart breaking, always know when to leave.

#2

Sometimes I question if I was actually in love with number two. However when I really think about it, he was the classic 'accidental love' you read about in chic flic-y books. I stumbled upon number two while dressed as a cat in a kebab shop. How all good love stories start, am I right? I'm pretty sure he was initially interested in the friend I was with, however a spontaneous trip to his flat to watch films and eat the remains of our late night culinary delicacies - proved other wise. Me and number two hit it off instantly. I was in the 'I'm mother fucking single' stage, where you're all excited to meet, talk to, snog - all of the men. (FYI the thought of that now genuinely turns my stomach.. oh maturity, you're fun.)  Number two was the bubble of fun that needed to enter my life, at that time. We kept it fun, casual and exciting for near enough the entire year we were seeing each other. I look back at this time as the happiest year of my life - still to this day! I was admired but from a distance this time. I was out boozing constantly and getting my first taste of travelling Europe with friends, while spending my down time (mostly hungover) slobbing around a beautiful flat in Clifton and being wined and dined with the central convenience of Just Eat.

I didn't treat number two too well. He was my happy, fun, escapism boy - but ultimately, still my rebound. When things started getting a little more serious than getting pizza in our joggers - for example, meeting parents, hotel stays, 'anniversary' gestures, Facebook announcements - I think I just got a little scared, so ended it. Looking back I just wasn't ready to feel the feelings I felt with number one, with number two - despite all the fun I was having.
Number two taught me that shared laughter, fun and spontaneity are some of the most important qualities to create a wholesome relationship. He taught me that looks or 'type', aren't the be all and end all to the law of attraction (he wore the worst clothes - I'm sure you all know how I felt about that, as a 21 year old blossoming fashionista).

#3

Ahh and here we meet, my first 'Tinder love'. Things with number three probably had the most rapid chain reaction so far. From what I've experienced, both from a personal perspective and also from the outside looking in, Tinder 'relationships' always seem to happen so fast. I feel like due to the nature of the app it self, once you find someone you remotely get on with and find attractive, suddenly you find yourselves holding onto each other for dear life, subtly shoving in everyones face an influx of superficial social media posts - 'LOOK, we found each other, Tinder does work' *insert hundreds of 'boy did good' posts*. The fear of swiping through the next 10k of unsuitable mugs (sorry but, its true), is real - it appears. I had my first 'date' with number three in my local pub and he brought me Sainsbury's cookies because I had mentioned craving them once in one of our online chats. (Cute or creepy, you decide). I fancied number three a hell of a lot. You know the ones that just aesthetically tick a lot of the boxes?

Number three turned out to be an intense version of number one and two combined. It was all a bit much when I actually look back. A boy that seemingly appeared to be besotted with me (he once told me it was like watching a super model go down on him (stop it) and I'm not gunna lie, it's something I hold close to my ego to this day - cheers mate). When in the next breath - my phone was being checked weekly, I was given the cold shoulder treatment for the slightest interaction with other boys (usually an Instagram like for a taken lad I went to uni with, for example) and I was once chucked out of his house during the early hours for not doing what he demanded during a night out. Insecurities were a huge part of this relationship. I was still flying high at this point from my previous 'adoring' relationships I'd seemed to encounter, so my self esteem was sky rocketing. I guess I can kind of  understand how number three may have felt inferior to my some what, sassy persona at the time?
Number three taught me to take things slowly. As temporarily great the sex may be with someone you aesthetically fancy - it never lasts long. Number three taught me not to rush into something just because of the intensity. Head over heart, Love over lust, always wins in the long run.

#4

Number 4, another Tinder find. If I haven't already used the word 'intense' enough, I'm about to use it now. Maybe I'm just an intense person? Maybe this is why I also attract, intense personas. (Is there self help books for this issue?!) I met number 4 during a very sensitive time. I was going through a hell of a lot with my health, that even included hospital stays. Number 4 was like my strangely comforting, cyber buddy. We spoke at all hours, of every day. (I honestly couldn't tell you how we had so much to talk about.) I'd be lying if I didn't say things moved insanely quickly with number 4, also. Just three months into dating number 4, I found myself introducing him to family members, on a flight to Egypt by his side, and dropping the L bomb (literally, wtf mads?). For some reason I just seemed to find instant comfort in number 4. I wanted to spend every moment, of every day, with him - why? I honestly couldn't tell you. I kind of get it now when people say that phrase 'when you know, you know' with out actually really knowing, why? I found myself falling hard and quickly, not really sure what was going on with this crazy heart of mine but embracing it anyway. Then shortly after our Middle Eastern mini break - dumped. Wait, me? Dumped? This came as a huge, huge, emotional shock to me. I had never been dumped before, I was always in the control chair, always the one who decided when enough was enough or I was just 'bored' or didn't quite 'fancy' them anymore. This time I was on the receiving end and I'll be honest, it was awful.

Then the games began. My first on-off relationship that you can read about here. Something I would highly NOT RECOMMEND. Despite the ups and downs, mental health bouts and general emotional trauma (dramatic but true), I endured during this time, I wouldn't change any of it. I've probably learnt the most from number 4. Maybe I was just given a taste of my own medicine? Maybe this is how I'd made all the boys in my life feel previously to now? (Isn't karma a bitch tho?)
Number 4 taught me that there are boys out there that can be deeply caring, thoughtful, loving and kind, however should never be excused for emotional abuse and general bad/disrespectful behaviour. Number 4 taught me to seek that 'winning formula', that equal balance of love, fun, and respect. Number 4 taught me to know what I want and more importantly what I don't. Life lessons come to us in the funniest of ways sometimes and I'm sure, embracing them will only take you higher. 

I'm telling you now. The age of 25 has been the weirdest year for me, I've learnt so much but in quite a sad, depressing and inconvenient way. During my late teens/early 20's I felt as though I was pursued by boys, a lot of the time.. I felt like boys I seemed to meet (not many, btw) - fancied me in some way or I fancied them and things always progressed more than just friends. Meanwhile 2017/18 has provided me with so many more Tinder dates than I'd planned,  so much more 'disappointment' and generally so much #singlelife-ness. I feel like I'm a million miles away from a lot of friends who are engaged, have babies on the way or enduring in a consistent and flourishing relationship. It's a weird feeling when you've always been the 'one with the boyfriend'. However, when I really think about it, am I even ready for all that? I'm still exploring things I like, career options, moving cities, figuring what makes me tick, let alone mixing boys into the equation. Sometimes I think its unfortunate for me that I haven't yet found myself building a home together with a loved one or discussing which washing machine to get or if we're in the right catchment area for schooling - then I remember, theres so much more I want yet - from life in general. Slow and steady wins the race - Something I always try and live by.

Hope you enjoyed the read and hopefully I didn't cause any offence (eek).
Let me know if this is the kind of content you enjoy (I have a tonne more I want to write about including awkward encounters and battling dating apps).
Thanks for reading!!
Madi xo

25 THINGS I'VE LEARNT IN 25 YEARS

It's been a good 48 hours now since I turned the ripe old age of 25, so I feel nows a good time to reflect. (As apposed to on the day, when I had a mixture of feelings, from excitement to impending doom). Can I believe I'm now 25? No. Do I feel like an adult now? No. 25 is such a funny age. Quotes that seem to be associated with 25 are, 'All down hill from here', or, 'Not long till you're 30!', or my mum's favourite, 'isn't it about time you got your own flat? you're 25 now'. 

I always remember thinking when I was around 16, that 25 was SO. OLD. I had a few friends older than me and just remember thinking, 'I'm so glad I'm not that old yet'. I'm not really sure why, maybe because I've always had quite a young and carefree outlook on life, and now it seems I actually have to get my butt in gear when it comes to 'growing up', and life in general. 

I was looking through my baby photos the other day and it just gave me the idea for this post. Its actually hilarious how demanding and spoilt I was. (You'll see in photos to come). I guess that's what came along with not only being an only child for 10 years, but also being the absolute apple of my parents eyes, considering it took them 7 years for me to even arrive on planet earth. 25 has been, without a doubt, my biggest year yet for self reflection. 

16-18, everything was exciting, there was not much time to worry about anything really. Personality traits and looks were manipulated, shaped, and admired by different friendship groups or boys that wanted your attention, and most trail of thought went into what you were wearing that weekend. I feel as though I had my most friends and most male attention during this time, and I was without a doubt at my most outgoing. 

18-22 was the time my eyes were opened to different romantic relationships, different life experiences, working, learning and socialising all at once, travelling without parents, and achieving things like learning to drive and gaining my degree. 

22-25 has been weird for me. Its as if there has been a huge anti climax. Now that uni is over, I'm settled in a full time job, I've had the same friends for a couple of years, I'm still living at home & I'm single.. life is just.. still? It's as if I've been given the time to look at my life in every single aspect. My personality traits, my looks, my interests, my style, my sexuality, my friends, my aspirations. The list goes on. 

So, I thought I'd write a little list about 25 things I've learnt in 25 years, (and show you some pretty hilarious photos along the way). 

1. Travelling actually feeds my soul. I don't care how cliche that sounds, its true. Every time I travel to a new place, I get a rush of inspiration, a warm and fuzzy feeling inside, and a general buzz from seeing sites I've never seen before. 

2. I will never be a naturally tidy person. I've spend a good 4-5 years now of trying to maintain some kind of order in my room/car/bathroom, and naturally trying to acquire OCD. It never happens. I'll put it down to creativity...

3. Saving money is some of the best life advice I can give. Don't get me wrong, I'm not able to save much AT ALL, but when I do its great to be able to book holidays, buy something you've wanted for ages, and not to mention, get you out of shit when your car goes wrong. 

4. I WILL be late if I don't set at least 4 alarms..

5. House parties are some of the best times you'll have in your life. Appreciate the fact you don't yet have an ID if you're under the age of 16. Sometimes running round your garden and jumping on the trampoline at 3am is 100% better than someone spilling tequila shots down your top at a busy bar. 

6. If you want something in life, you really do have to work for it. I've learnt nothing comes for free. 

If you want a certain job, you have to aspire to and work for it, not just temporarily, but always.

If you want love, you have to first learn to relentlessly work on and love yourself.

Nothing is impossibly, 'you are your only limit', and all that shiii'. 

7. Nothing gives me a bigger sense of achievement than learning something new.  

8. Even though I'm usually seen to wear a lot, I love wearing no makeup. The feeling of loads of product on my face kind of makes me feel a bit sick, and most of the time I can't wait to wash it off. 

9. Put me in a tent for the night, drunk or not, and I will become a ball of anger, rage, and will cry at least once.

10. Being demanding, spoilt or egotistical gets you nowhere. You actually end up looking like a massive bellend and life will always bite you in the ass in return, in one way or another. #behumble (#sitdown). 

11. The feeling of knowing you're completely self sufficient is the best ever. I've spent years in different relationships who have all completely wiped my ass for me, and on the flip side I've experienced men making me feel guilty for not paying for my own meal, or calling me 'princessy' for expecting basic chivalry. I think the term in return to that would be, 'stuff your money, up your ass hole'. I have my own, thanks. 

12. Learn to know what you want from life, and what you don't. Whether its someone who doesn't treat you right, you're not on the salary you want, or something doesn't set your soul on fire.

Never, settle for less than what you want. 

13. Don't be afraid of being authoritative and a little bit bossy. I've learnt that it's really important to let people know, that although I'm a petite 5"3 girl, I know what I want, and I know how important it can be to say no.  

14. People will ALWAYS talk about you. Unless you live under an actual rock, or you have no interaction with anyone other than yourself, you'll always get people talking about you. Good, bad, or bitchy. The best thing I've learnt is to acknowledge it, appreciate it, laugh at it, and let it go - pronto. 

15. Always be true to yourself. Stop hanging out with friends that make you feel shitty, quit putting energy into relationships that don't make you grow, wear the lipstick colour you want, eat the food you want, stop if you want to take a photo, don't follow the crowd, don't kiss boys you don't want to and stop spending money on things you don't want to do. 

 16. Accept that things don't always go your way. I've come from an up bringing where my shit don't stink and whatever I want, I can have (see photos above). However, I've learnt to accept that things take time to achieve, so not to be disappointed if you don't get the job you really want first time around, or appreciate the fact it takes time to build up a profession or to become good at a hobby you have.

17. As much as you think you need multiple lipsticks of the same colour/shade. You don't.

18. Investing time in yourself is time well spent. This year I've really invested time and money into my love for photography, blogging, and travel. I'm slowly learning to spend time on myself as apposed to using other people to find my happiness and self worth.

19. Trying to acknowledge and get through my health problems has been one of my toughest downfalls in the past couple years. Once I'm ill I crash and burn, and once I'm well I burn the candle at both ends in fear of getting ill again. I'm the worst at accepting theres anything wrong with me, sometimes its good to just accept the bad times and just ride it out. 'This too, shall pass' is maybe one of the most relevant quotes to my life.

20. Never be made to feel you're asking too much. I always have and always will, like nice things. I like beautiful places, I like expensive food and I like quality clothing. In the past I've been made to feel I'm too 'snobby' and should settle for less. Nuh uh. (Ref. point 12)

21. Never underestimate the power of animals to lift your mood. If you're ever feeling sad, go to your local petting farm and feed some goats, or pet some bunnies. If you have friends with a dog, take it for a walk. If you love cats, pet one any time you can.

22. I'm pretty much 100% in line with every single star sign reading I've ever read, its creepy. I am 100% Leo and I'm pretty sure it's obvious to anyone whose met me.

23. Accept that its ok to be an emotional, arty farty, expressive human. I've spent years holding in feelings, interests, and thoughts, when it comes to how I am as a person, in fear of judgment. Theres not much that makes me feel happier than typing up blog posts, taking photos, doing someones makeup, going to independent art exhibitions, aimlessly wondering new cities and listening to music I like. I'm done with feeling embarrassed about all of the above!

24. Constantly make memories. I am in constant ore of reminiscing over things I've done, and I still fantasise about what I would do if I had the time/effort to scrapbook.

25. Love as hard as you can. In recent years I've been made to feel like my love has been wasted, or I give away too much. I've had moments where I've felt my obsession with a person or my admiration towards someones personality/brain is too much or I'm being over whelming. However, I know what it feels like to get that love in return, and with the right person you should never have to change the way you love. I know I never will, thats for sure.

Phew! 

Well done if you got through that job lot. 

Heres to continuing to learn, grow and be the happiest I can be in years to come. 

Thanks for reading, as always!

Madi x

5 WAYS TO NOT GO INSANE

So, being long term sick is NOT what I had planned for the beginning of Summer 2017, let me tell you that much. I was talking to my dad the other day about my blog and how I've been brain storming ideas to blog about/topics to talk about, etc. He said 'why don't you write about things to do while you're ill?', which got me thinking. I am sick at the minute, which means I physically can't go to work with the job I do, but that doesn't mean my brain or legs don't work, yano? 

Its hard to not feel like you should be cooped up in the house all day, or do nothing but stay in bed. Don't get me wrong, with how I'm feeling at the minute, thats what I do spend a lot of my time doing. However, I thought I'd write about a few things that make me feel a little less house bound and stop me from going bloody stir crazy over here! 

TEA & CAKE WITH FRIENDS - Maybe my favourite thing to do. I have a very close knit of friends that have seen me at my very worst, which means I'm not afraid or embarrassed to be in front of them in slouchy clothing and no makeup, feeling like a piece of poo. Nothing beats laughing until your tummy hurts and reminding yourself that you WILL be back to normality again soon enough, this isn't forever. This photo was taken at Boston Tea Party, I honestly didn't realise they made their cakes on site, and even include more than one Vegan option! 

FIND BEAUTY IN EVERYTHING - I'm pretty good at this on any day of the year. I'm very observant to my surroundings, whether that be what the sunset looks like, the intricate details of a restaurant or naturally memorising peoples outfits or lipstick colours on a night out. (One of my favourite morning after quiz's). I'm constantly taking photos of the sky, certain lighting, flowers, trees, animals & general picturesque scenery. I think it's important to focus your mind on beautiful, positive things, when you're sick, I find it really helps to take my mind off any pain/upset or frustration I'm suffering from. 

KEEP YOUR MIND MOVING - Try and do things that keep your mind moving. Whether that be reading, visiting new places, surrounding yourself with countryside or creating new and tasty recipes. (All of my favourite things to do). Some days I find it hard to get out of bed because I know as soon as I even sit up I'll be in pain. However, once I've forced myself to get up and out, I find great inspiration and joy in getting fresh air and exploring places I've never been before. 

FUEL YOURSELF WELL - I love food. Fact. Theres not many foods I dislike and I'm always up for trying something new. Whether it be green, smelly, a weird texture - I'll always try something once. Try making a new recipe including some of your favourite ingredients. I find it fun to attempt dairy free/gluten free recipes, as I find them quite a challenge (for example, will the cake rise with an egg substitute, or will it resemble a shit pancake?). Creating new recipes is also really rewarding, especially when the result is tasty and other people approve. 

GET FRESH AIR DAILY -  Admittedly, this is sometimes one of my biggest downfalls. Most days when I'm unwell, I wake up in such a bad mood, I just don't even want to get out of bed to wee, let alone go outside. Once I have made the move out of my front/back door, I do feel 10x more productive and positive about everything. I suggest going outside at least once a day. Even if its just to eat your breakfast, or stand with your face to the sun and inhale the morning breeze for 20 minutes.

Thanks for reading, as always

I hope you get well soon if you're currently sick too! 

Madi x

DO'S AND DONT'S OF A 20 SOMETHING'S LOVE LIFE

Oh hey.
How fricking hilarious, I just went to view my old blog and found this blog post saved in my drafts, dated back to November 2015! I can just tell by the tone of my type that I was, lets say, a little pissed.
Bless me, I thought it would be pretty funny to actually post it this time around as its actually sort of relevant still! If you're sick of watching people sprawling their engagement on Christmas day all over Facebook, or updates of 'The boy did good' etc, Read on...

Oh look, here I am again. WHY is it I always actually make the time to blog and write when I'm sad, angry, or disappointed? I wish I could find the passion to take the time to write about a beautiful new lipstick or dress I've purchased, but I'd rather just chat for hours in person about those things.

I really wanted to write this post, well, I have wanted to write this post for SO LONG. I've just always worried about causing offence or upsetting people. I always relate so much to Jameela Jemill's personal experience columns in Cosmo magazine and how much they make me laugh. My main aim is to just have a giggle about all of this when I look back in a few years time. I've now had four relationships, each and every one, COMPLETELY different. Well, obviously there are some that have the same traits, but all in all, I'd say, different.

Here are some simple do's and dont's I've figured out along my merry way through the good and bad times of my personal relationships with men.

DO - check your OWN fucking social media. Shit me, the amount of clues you get from that after stalking yourself from the past few weeks, what were you DOING girl. If your tweets resemble those of a depressed middle aged women with 5 kids (all under aged 6), pleading for cuddles, massages, company and adventure, its time to re-evaluate, pronto.

DON'T - underestimate an HONEST man. Yes, they may have just wasted your time, energy and money. (Not to mention those hours you'd spend thinking how you could change things, wondering if they'll change, wonder if THIS time MAYBE they'll wrap you in their arms when you arrive home wet and cold from a long day). However, after being told from their own mouth, 'I don't think I'll change' - THAT, my huns, is a signal to gallop off as fast as you can into the sea of singletons that WANT your company and appreciate your presence.

DO - love. yo. self. (but not too much), I've had it before where I was so boastful about myself, my big blue eyes, my quirky ginger hair, my decent body - the boy himself was actually put off, 'It's actually such a turn off when you do that' (lol). Don't get me wrong, I'm not ACTUALLY cocky, I just sometimes find it funny to over exaggerate and PRETEND I'm an egotistical twat. (But sometimes they genuinely believe you, oops)

DON'T - try and change someone. Each and every one of us, has a background, an upbringing, a childhood etc. When in a HAPPY relationship, I am the most fun loving, uplifting, excited, hyperactive, cuddly, snuggly person ever (I bite people when I like them, I once bit my best friend while intoxicated, so hard that I gave her bruises - I mean, hello?). Now, when you find yourself TRYING to make this reciprocal - stop.

DO - get pissed and have a good time. Its a classic, you get pissed with your friends, have a dance, have a giggle, and create a story to tell. As long as you're not harming anyone, or yourself, you're in the right frame of mind and you're up for a good time - bloody go for it. The gossip magazines/chic flics are not wrong. It works.

DON'T - Ever, ever, ever, be told what to do, or how to be. I mean fair enough 'Madi, can you get the cutlery out for dinner', sure. However, once when I was relatively young, I was told by a boyfriend, I looked like a slut with fake eyelashes on before going out for a family meal. I'M SORRY???? I think at the time, I cried and took them off. Now I'd probably just laugh, push the persons face far far AWAY from my own, and turn my back (and put on more mascara).

DO - Learn from your wrong doings. Well, I say wrong doings, I actually mean damn right wrong decisions. Listen to your inner voice, act upon that feeling in your gut, LISTEN to your friends and family. When people close to you can see that a person you're dating is underserving of you, take it on board to realise that, MAYBE it isn't right that your partner silently turns away and goes straight on their phone after sex, or falls asleep after you've just arrived at their house for the evening - realise your worth girl!

DON'T - Be afraid to fart. I once spent an entire 3 year relationship holding in farts and number 2's, until I got home or to a friends. Its not something I'd recommend.

Oh me. What am I like?
Until next time x

Heres a video that inspired me a little to write this post: