Friday, 12 May 2017


Lately, I've been trying really hard to keep myself focused. Focused on keeping positive, and doing life in general. I feel like sometimes we feel ashamed to say we've not been keeping up with the daily demands of life, or not dealing so well with accepting inconvenient health problems, or unexpected loss/life events that are thrown our way. It's weird because, in hind sight, when I feel fine and happy again, its hard to believe that just a couple weeks ago I was lower than I've been in around 2 years. I'm usually really good at getting my head away from negativity. I've always had to be, what with family dispute and dealing with not only the mental health of my own, but of loved ones, too. 

One of my favourite pass times is thinking of self aid. What can I do that will make me feel better? Thanks to my mothers incredible nesting skills, I find I'm good at comforting myself back into a state of what I'd class as - happiness.

The other day my friend Esther happened to open the boot of her car, where I saw a book lying there, amongst other bits and bobs. (welcome to Esther's boot, everyone ;). She offered to let me borrow it, after saying she'd found it a good pool side read, on her holiday last week. Its been ages since I've really got stuck into a book. You can't beat a good paper back - no kindle, tablet or laptop is quite the same. I'm really enjoying it so far, (I Found You, by Lisa Jewell). I find books are the only way of letting my mind really escape. You have to physically turn a page, to get onto the next part and you have to fully focus your mind on each word, to grasp the story. Theres no endless scrolling feature, ads or silly videos to distract you. Something I definitely want to make more of a habit of.  

I feel really disheartened sometimes, about how far we've moved away from pen and paper. So much so, I sometimes forget what my hand writing even looks like. I took a trip to Paperchase after work the other day, just for a sneaky gander at the stationary (as you do). I've been thinking about writing letters for ages now, and it reminded me of how me and my grandma used to write letters to each other, when I was around 11/12. I remember how excited I'd feel seeing a hand written envelope waiting for me in the front porch. Despite the fact she only lived up the road, it was such a sweet little way of communication we had. When I saw how gorgeous this letter set was,  how could I resist?! Its actually embossed with gold detail, comes with 20 sheets, 10 envelopes, and was a mere £5. Theres something calming about writing, just like reading. It annoys me how we're all so consumed with technology and its wonderful ways. (She says, typing a blog post on a Macbook). Making more time to write is another thing I want to make time for, even if its just a list of 'to do's' from time to time. 

Aren't flowers just the best thing ever to brighten/lift a room? (and of course, your mood!). Me and my step sister were talking today, about how you just can't beat receiving flowers. On occasion, I will buy myself some flowers to make me feel good, but only if they're cheap or I see them in passing while out shopping etc. I currently have the most BEAUTiful bouquet of roses I've actually ever seen?! On my desk. I've always wondered what it felt like to have flowers delivered to your work/house. When I was super ill last week, I was literally filling out an appeal for a stupid parking ticket I'd got (funnily enough, at the doctors), feeling SUPER shitty, when I looked out of the window to see a little old man shuffle to my door, with a big box of flowers. Surely not for me...he must have the wrong house? were my initial thoughts. I was so overwhelmed by just the personalised note that came with them, I literally burst into tears on the spot, in front of my mum and her friend. BLESS. ME. (Thanks CM ;)). 

This is literally my favourite thing to do. As much as I love getting out there, exploring, visiting places, driving around in my little automobile. Nothing beats preening and pruning my bedroom, changing my bed sheets, lighting my candles, turning on the fairy lights and watching Youtube/Netflix in my little nest. (Admittedly, I do this every night at around 8pm if I have no plans). I am secretly a little door mouse, its true. 

I think its so important to keep yourself grounded in life. In a generation where we're all so consumed with the daily comparisons, horror stories and superficial lives on social media, or the over whelming choices we're given, with near enough everything - from clothes, to entertainment, to interiors, to music. Sometimes I find my little heart is so heavy. I find it quite hard to filter and process things a lot of the time, what I like, what I don't, who I want to be, who I don't etc. Hence why I spend a lot of my time escaping it all in the comforts of my sheets. However, I do feel a whole tonne better once I take some proper time for myself. Eating & drinking well, dressing yourself nicely, spending time to do your hair, treating yourself to nice makeup, making your surroundings smell good. Self love is a wonderful thing, but only if you're good at it. Luckily, I am a firm believer in that, practise makes perfect. 

Is there anything you do to help keep yourself sane in this crazy world we live in? 
Hope you all have a lovely weekend! Thanks for reading, Madi x

Monday, 8 May 2017


LATE AGAIN - what am I like! I feel like I'm either super super busy lately, or super exhausted/ill. *rolls eyes*. I feel like I've done tonnes this month, (and I wonder why I have no money, ever). Lots of exciting things have happened, news shared, people met etc.
This month kicked off with a trip to the Zoo with my step sister Elly, she's not long found out she's pregnant with a baby girl and we're all kinds of excited. I've never had it where someone close to me/my age is expecting before, its super cool to finally have someone to buy all the cute bits in work for.


I haven't been to Bristol Zoo in what feels like a bazillion years. Forgetting Spring time is baby animal season, I don't think we could've picked a better time to go! A picnic and cup of tea after our arrival, and we were ready for ALL THE ANIMALS. My personal favourite was the new baby pigmy hippo (!!!!!).


As always this month saw a tonne of pretty dog walks. I feel like me and my friends as a collective are going through the phase we tend to go through once every couple months - feeling the strain of living at home/with parents etc. Its been nice to catch the end of the day sunsets, talk it out together, watch the dogs play, grab a prosecco, and just chill. An occasional breather, from the fact we're drowning in a sea of unaffordable houses, argumentative households, and underpaid jobs - is always welcomed. Its pretty awesome we all live within a close proximity of each other so we have a means of escape from time to time. Speaking of which, the last photo is from one of our dine in nights at Esther's. We're getting pretty good at the whole cooking a meal for more than one person thing. Tasty ones at that! 


This month I've had a few *super proud* moments. Ever since getting my new car I've found a new confidence in long distance driving, (maybe because it doesn't shake while travelling over 70mph). On Easter Sunday I plucked up the courage to ask my mum and oldest bestie, Maddie, to accompany me to my aunties BEAUTIFUL house, in Tring, Hertfordshire.  I completed the drive there in just over 2 hours, managed to stop over at a services and gave Theo his first experience of stretching his legs and tasting the communal dog bowl of Reading service station. The day saw us having a countryside walk, consuming lots of Earl Grey, catching up with my cousins, drinking champagne and eating a roast dinner. Something I definitely want to make the effort to do more often!


I don't think these photos really need any text, I'm just so obsessed with this time of year, photography wise. I've never really noticed how pretty everything is during Spring, before this year. I think the fact I now have Theo to walk, definitely makes me appreciate the finer details of the outdoors more. Every flower, tree, or pretty scenery I see I instantly snap it, without really thinking about the composure or lighting etc. (Here are the good ones).


Ah Food and Drink, how you are such a staple of my free time. The above photo was at Zizzi's with my step sister. Every time we meet we are ALWAYS, ALWAYS hungry.. I mean she has an excuse, shes eating for two.. I do not. ALAS, this was a calzone with dairy free cheese - don't mind if I dewww. Below was ANOTHER bank holiday Monday a couple weeks back (can I just say how much I'm loving all these bank holidays, popping up all at once). We went to the Golden Heart and enjoyed a cider & some pub grub (while escaping the most HORRENDOUS weather bipolar I think I've witnessed this year).


I don't think I will ever tire of little tripz out with my friendlings. Even though we now have cars, jobs, and responsibilities, I still feel like giggling teenagers whenever we do such activities. Whether it be somewhere more far fetched, or just our local town center. I just love the freedom of grabbing an over priced beverage and bundling into each other while we walk, giggling about the night before. As most people who know me, Clifton is one of my FAVE places to hang on a sunny afternoon, or wonder round in a hungover daze. (See photos above). I couldn't resist asking Christina for an 'OOTD' in front of this very bright and bold graffiti we came across. I feel like I haven't done outfit posts in LITERALLY years, (maybe because I haven't), but its definitely something I want to try and put more effort into again - considering the amount of clothes I have could open a small shop at this point, it might be nice to show them off once in a while...


As always, but especially this month, I have been loving SO HARD on my little mol's (ani-mols). I don't really like to dip into it too much on my blog, because I want it to be a place I can reflect on over happy times and remember good memories, however my depression and anxiety have really fucked with me this month. Even saying 'my' before those two dreaded words makes me feel weird. Me? Depression and anxiety? surely not - (on top of all my other health problems, bladdy 'ell). However, I'm also not really scared to talk about it. This months seen me break down in work numerous times, countless doctor visits, questionnaires and referrals. All good things, in my mind. A step in the right direction. I honestly don't know how people live without pets of any kind. They literally feed my soul with all kinds of good vibes, happiness and hope. (ALSO AREN'T THEY JUST SO CUTE?!)  


I've just about recovered from the dreaded Tonsillitis that seems to be doing the rounds at the moment. It was one of those illness' that seemed to brew so slowly for me. I was SO drained for around 2 weeks, (more drained than usual *rolls eyes x2*), achy and I kept getting numerous headaches (which is one thing I never get!), so I knew something was up, but kept trudging on. Alas, my body failed me at the beginning of May. Thank god for Penicillin and puppy cuddles!
I'm SoOoOo excited for the Month of May, again (like March' late blog post), I've done quite a bit already! Me and Christina are going to Budapest at the end of the month which I physically cannot wait for, I feel like its been forever and a day since I've escaped the streets of good old Bristol town.


Thanks for taking the time to read, 
Madi x