DO'S AND DONT'S OF A 20 SOMETHING'S LOVE LIFE

Oh hey.
How fricking hilarious, I just went to view my old blog and found this blog post saved in my drafts, dated back to November 2015! I can just tell by the tone of my type that I was, lets say, a little pissed.
Bless me, I thought it would be pretty funny to actually post it this time around as its actually sort of relevant still! If you're sick of watching people sprawling their engagement on Christmas day all over Facebook, or updates of 'The boy did good' etc, Read on...

Oh look, here I am again. WHY is it I always actually make the time to blog and write when I'm sad, angry, or disappointed? I wish I could find the passion to take the time to write about a beautiful new lipstick or dress I've purchased, but I'd rather just chat for hours in person about those things.

I really wanted to write this post, well, I have wanted to write this post for SO LONG. I've just always worried about causing offence or upsetting people. I always relate so much to Jameela Jemill's personal experience columns in Cosmo magazine and how much they make me laugh. My main aim is to just have a giggle about all of this when I look back in a few years time. I've now had four relationships, each and every one, COMPLETELY different. Well, obviously there are some that have the same traits, but all in all, I'd say, different.

Here are some simple do's and dont's I've figured out along my merry way through the good and bad times of my personal relationships with men.

DO - check your OWN fucking social media. Shit me, the amount of clues you get from that after stalking yourself from the past few weeks, what were you DOING girl. If your tweets resemble those of a depressed middle aged women with 5 kids (all under aged 6), pleading for cuddles, massages, company and adventure, its time to re-evaluate, pronto.

DON'T - underestimate an HONEST man. Yes, they may have just wasted your time, energy and money. (Not to mention those hours you'd spend thinking how you could change things, wondering if they'll change, wonder if THIS time MAYBE they'll wrap you in their arms when you arrive home wet and cold from a long day). However, after being told from their own mouth, 'I don't think I'll change' - THAT, my huns, is a signal to gallop off as fast as you can into the sea of singletons that WANT your company and appreciate your presence.

DO - love. yo. self. (but not too much), I've had it before where I was so boastful about myself, my big blue eyes, my quirky ginger hair, my decent body - the boy himself was actually put off, 'It's actually such a turn off when you do that' (lol). Don't get me wrong, I'm not ACTUALLY cocky, I just sometimes find it funny to over exaggerate and PRETEND I'm an egotistical twat. (But sometimes they genuinely believe you, oops)

DON'T - try and change someone. Each and every one of us, has a background, an upbringing, a childhood etc. When in a HAPPY relationship, I am the most fun loving, uplifting, excited, hyperactive, cuddly, snuggly person ever (I bite people when I like them, I once bit my best friend while intoxicated, so hard that I gave her bruises - I mean, hello?). Now, when you find yourself TRYING to make this reciprocal - stop.

DO - get pissed and have a good time. Its a classic, you get pissed with your friends, have a dance, have a giggle, and create a story to tell. As long as you're not harming anyone, or yourself, you're in the right frame of mind and you're up for a good time - bloody go for it. The gossip magazines/chic flics are not wrong. It works.

DON'T - Ever, ever, ever, be told what to do, or how to be. I mean fair enough 'Madi, can you get the cutlery out for dinner', sure. However, once when I was relatively young, I was told by a boyfriend, I looked like a slut with fake eyelashes on before going out for a family meal. I'M SORRY???? I think at the time, I cried and took them off. Now I'd probably just laugh, push the persons face far far AWAY from my own, and turn my back (and put on more mascara).

DO - Learn from your wrong doings. Well, I say wrong doings, I actually mean damn right wrong decisions. Listen to your inner voice, act upon that feeling in your gut, LISTEN to your friends and family. When people close to you can see that a person you're dating is underserving of you, take it on board to realise that, MAYBE it isn't right that your partner silently turns away and goes straight on their phone after sex, or falls asleep after you've just arrived at their house for the evening - realise your worth girl!

DON'T - Be afraid to fart. I once spent an entire 3 year relationship holding in farts and number 2's, until I got home or to a friends. Its not something I'd recommend.

Oh me. What am I like?
Until next time x

Heres a video that inspired me a little to write this post:

THE LIFE OF A NONCHALANT 24 Y/O

I first came across this word when my best friend used it to describe me once, after expressing my confusion over a boy who said he 'couldn't read me'.
I am currently lying in bed, frightened to move myself any further north incase I feel the need to vomit all over my laptop. I am ill - life sucks, I'm bored out of my actual existence, and I've eaten nothing but rice crispies, pasta, and chip sticks for the past 4 days. ANYWAY - the time I've had stuck in bed, relentlessly scrolling my phone, watching every video in my Youtube subscription feed, noticing all the girls who regularly post attention worthy things on Facebook, watched day time TV, and cried over lack of human contact - has got me thinking.
I don't know about anyone else, but I feel like my 20's have been the worst years of my life so far. Is that a bold statement? probably. As a young girl, stuck in the current movement of depressing news, badly paid jobs, living with parents, terrible dating apps, global prejudice and general negativity is bad enough - but being the type of personality type I am surrounded by this, is almost suffocating.
Disappointed is a good word to sum up how I feel about life in my 20's, or at least how I've been made to feel. I feel like the world these days has been sectioned into categories, and if you don't fit in (or at least portray yourself on social media to fit in), you lose. Makeup guru, travelling free spirit, casual alcoholic, festival goer, live music lover, working abroad go getter, *sigh*, the list goes on. (I would be lying if I told you I haven't tried to -nonchalantly- fit in to at least 3 of these categories.)

I still don't know what I want. Being 24 and not knowing what you want may sound common, 'Your 20's is about finding yourself', but what about if you don't know WHERE to even start? Sometimes I watch people around me move on and up with their lives, while I remain stuck. Friends moving out, travelling, working abroad, working with big brands, meeting new people, getting EXCITED about things. My nonchalant attitude doesn't help, what do you do when theres no passion in your soul to drive you towards the things you want or have interest in? I envy people with passion. TRUE passion that keeps you engaged, interested, and work towards something. I am so jealous of all the girls that have the energy, drive and passion in them to get what they want. It's not like I WANT to give up on things, in fact, if I start something, its very rare I don't see it through. My problem as of late is I give up before I've began. My thoughts on traveling, for example, are constant - would I like to go? yes. would I like to go alone? hell no. However over recent -in mind discussions-, it seems thats the only way it'll ever happen for me. Maybe its confidence, maybe its being a slight pessimist, but can. you. imagine. little old me - 2 inhalers, 2 types of medication, weak immune system, allergies to life - even getting on an airplane alone?

I envy girls who are loud, excitable and confident, why can't I be like that? Why can't I have the effort to be SO EXCITED over this GORGEOUS new shade of lipstick, or SO STOKED that a certain band has a new album coming out. I am an introvert, and in a world where you're only noticed by 'putting yourself out there' *sarcastic thumbs up*, it S U C K S. I am the girl who people get annoyed at for not being excited at opening presents, or the girl who stays engaged in something for a maximum of 5.5 seconds and then wants to look at something new. Something I have learnt about myself over the past 4 years is I invest myself in people, or should we say boyfriends to be more specific. I like to be cosy and settled and comfortable, moseying around in a little twosome against the world - however, investing all of your time, energy and passion into people - never works out. What I'm trying to say is, life feels hard when you feel as though you SHOULD be doing all these things.. moving out, getting a 'real job', becoming manager, traveling, meeting new people, buying houses, having babies, driving a new car, wearing the latest fashion, dating, eating vegetables, having a great ass, loving pizza, loving pugs, etc. What happens if you want to travel but the thought of mixing with strangers while conjuring small talk and 'fitting in' is literally crippling? What happens if, try as you might, every dream and ambition so far in life has left you with knock backs and lack of confidence? but on the contrary, what if you care as much as you don't?  W H A T  I F.

I never have the passion for drive because I never have the passion for success. Nothing HUGELY impresses me and even if it did I can't show it. Is there a support group for this?
'Nonchalant 20 something y/o's anonymous'
I hope one day I can look back on this post and laugh, poorly little Madi had no idea of the adventures to come. Heres to hoping!

xx