BACK WHEN I WAS COOL

I was cruising the Interwebs the other day, as you do, when I decided to look at my old blog. The blog I started way back when in 2009, when I first found my, #passionforfashion. (For some reason, whenever I talk about Fashion, I just have to hashtag, 'Passion for Fashion', and every time I do, it reminds me of the Bratz dolls slogan, remember those?). One of my favourite style influencer back then (and still to this day), was Lily Melrose (plus a tonne of people from Tumblr or Lookbook.nu I embarrassingly, religiously, obsessed over - ). I remember checking Lily's blog every single day to check in on what garments she was showing off next.

There's something so satisfying about reading blog posts, don't you think? Especially when they're personal fashion and/or beauty ones. Having a nose into someone else's wardrobes or makeup bags just fascinates me. (Maybe I'm just nosey as fuk). Anyway, looking through my old photos got me thinking. I was so good at actually posting my outfit every day I had a day off work, and I had so much confidence in doing so. Whacking out all the different poses, not being afraid to show off my body shape or style etc, and doing it purely because I found it fun to shoot photos of myself with my £19.99 Argos tripod. I feel frustrated at myself sometimes at the fact I've just seemed to let it all slip over the past 4ish years. I feel there are probably a few people out there that feel the same as me about blogging. The ones that have been watching Youtubers grow since 2008, or the ones that have Tumblr accounts dating back to 2007, when they were just 'so emo'. The old school bloggers that have just seemed to have gotten lost in the overwhelming explosion of 'prettier' women, or 'more popular' content. I realise now its stupid of me to stop what I was doing, purely because I thought my style didn't fit with what people liked anymore.

                         

I think in recent years the Internet and social media has BLOWN. UP. All of a sudden people are making millions from their Youtube accounts or being interviewed by big brands because of their perfectly commercialised blog content, that everyone can't help but be interested in. There are girls that perfectly fit the 'Instagram girl' look and end up making money by promoting clothing brands and discount codes. To which I say - fair fucking play. If you've got the confidence and you've got the aesthetic to fit a trend everyones loving - go for it. It's just unfortunate for me that I ended up letting boys and boozing take up majority of my free time over the past few years, and letting the doubt I felt over people judging me or making fun of me, take over - thus losing touch with one of my favourite hobbies. I guess I'm kind of writing this post as a reminder to myself, 'you've done this all before'. Received emails from independent brands, shot and shared outfit posts, reviewed subscription boxes, received emails and comments with compliments and encouragement, tested out makeup products, met up with people from the internet I've never met. I feel as though I'm ready to jump back on the blogging band wagon and actually produce content I've always wanted to again. It may not mean I have a photographer boyfriend to take snazzy photos of me, a fancy flat in London, or expensive technical equipment - but why not carry on what I started, when it was something I enjoyed so much.

Its funny how I feel as though I was more confident in myself when I was 14-18, the ages where you're stereotypically supposed to feel the most self conscious?! I feel as though my 20's have been my most anxiety filled, doubtful and confusing years of my life so far. Now more than ever, I've lost where I fit, or what my style even is, or which direction I'm taking in life. (Read my blog post of being a confused 20-something here).  I always remember feeling so cool, strolling down the street in my unique vintage finds, or wearing my expensive new blusher that I was sent in a Glossy Box. I found an awesome post from Jemma Wade where she talks about 'grabbing life by the balls', and doing what you want in life, not being afraid to try out loads of different hobbies/interests/careers, and not always conforming to what society tells us to do. Her words were as if she was reading my brains daily thoughts! Anyway, what I think I'm trying to say is, never be afraid to do you. I always feel when I wear something new I've bought, or post a new blog post, or make certain life choices, I'll in some way or another, receive negative feedback or a bad reaction from people - but why should I care? I've learnt over time that anyone who makes me feel insignificant or embarrassed over things I chose to wear, interests I have, friends I hang around with or music I listen to - say goodbye. Life's way, way too short to have people in your life that don't make you feel good about yourself. Am I right or am I right?

PS can we just take a moment for my eyebrows circa 2009-2013? oh my. 

Thanks for reading, as always

Heres to doing you & being the best #girlboss or #boyboss you can be.

Madi x