Monday, 9 January 2017


Oh hey.
How fricking hilarious, I just went to view my old blog and found this blog post saved in my drafts, dated back to November 2015! I can just tell by the tone of my type that I was, lets say, a little pissed.
Bless me, I thought it would be pretty funny to actually post it this time around as its actually sort of relevant still! If you're sick of watching people sprawling their engagement on Christmas day all over Facebook, or updates of 'The boy did good' etc, Read on...

Oh look, here I am again. WHY is it I always actually make the time to blog and write when I'm sad, angry, or disappointed? I wish I could find the passion to take the time to write about a beautiful new lipstick or dress I've purchased, but I'd rather just chat for hours in person about those things.

I really wanted to write this post, well, I have wanted to write this post for SO LONG. I've just always worried about causing offence or upsetting people. I always relate so much to Jameela Jemill's personal experience columns in Cosmo magazine and how much they make me laugh. My main aim is to just have a giggle about all of this when I look back in a few years time. I've now had four relationships, each and every one, COMPLETELY different. Well, obviously there are some that have the same traits, but all in all, I'd say, different.

Here are some simple do's and dont's I've figured out along my merry way through the good and bad times of my personal relationships with men.

DO - check your OWN fucking social media. Shit me, the amount of clues you get from that after stalking yourself from the past few weeks, what were you DOING girl. If your tweets resemble those of a depressed middle aged women with 5 kids (all under aged 6), pleading for cuddles, massages, company and adventure, its time to re-evaluate, pronto.

DON'T - underestimate an HONEST man. Yes, they may have just wasted your time, energy and money. (Not to mention those hours you'd spend thinking how you could change things, wondering if they'll change, wonder if THIS time MAYBE they'll wrap you in their arms when you arrive home wet and cold from a long day). However, after being told from their own mouth, 'I don't think I'll change' - THAT, my huns, is a signal to gallop off as fast as you can into the sea of singletons that WANT your company and appreciate your presence.

DO - love. yo. self. (but not too much), I've had it before where I was so boastful about myself, my big blue eyes, my quirky ginger hair, my decent body - the boy himself was actually put off, 'It's actually such a turn off when you do that' (lol). Don't get me wrong, I'm not ACTUALLY cocky, I just sometimes find it funny to over exaggerate and PRETEND I'm an egotistical twat. (But sometimes they genuinely believe you, oops)

DON'T - try and change someone. Each and every one of us, has a background, an upbringing, a childhood etc. When in a HAPPY relationship, I am the most fun loving, uplifting, excited, hyperactive, cuddly, snuggly person ever (I bite people when I like them, I once bit my best friend while intoxicated, so hard that I gave her bruises - I mean, hello?). Now, when you find yourself TRYING to make this reciprocal - stop.

DO - get pissed and have a good time. Its a classic, you get pissed with your friends, have a dance, have a giggle, and create a story to tell. As long as you're not harming anyone, or yourself, you're in the right frame of mind and you're up for a good time - bloody go for it. The gossip magazines/chic flics are not wrong. It works.

DON'T - Ever, ever, ever, be told what to do, or how to be. I mean fair enough 'Madi, can you get the cutlery out for dinner', sure. However, once when I was relatively young, I was told by a boyfriend, I looked like a slut with fake eyelashes on before going out for a family meal. I'M SORRY???? I think at the time, I cried and took them off. Now I'd probably just laugh, push the persons face far far AWAY from my own, and turn my back (and put on more mascara).

DO - Learn from your wrong doings. Well, I say wrong doings, I actually mean damn right wrong decisions. Listen to your inner voice, act upon that feeling in your gut, LISTEN to your friends and family. When people close to you can see that a person you're dating is underserving of you, take it on board to realise that, MAYBE it isn't right that your partner silently turns away and goes straight on their phone after sex, or falls asleep after you've just arrived at their house for the evening - realise your worth girl!

DON'T - Be afraid to fart. I once spent an entire 3 year relationship holding in farts and number 2's, until I got home or to a friends. Its not something I'd recommend.

Oh me. What am I like?
Until next time x

Heres a video that inspired me a little to write this post:

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