Friday, 12 May 2017


Lately, I've been trying really hard to keep myself focused. Focused on keeping positive, and doing life in general. I feel like sometimes we feel ashamed to say we've not been keeping up with the daily demands of life, or not dealing so well with accepting inconvenient health problems, or unexpected loss/life events that are thrown our way. It's weird because, in hind sight, when I feel fine and happy again, its hard to believe that just a couple weeks ago I was lower than I've been in around 2 years. I'm usually really good at getting my head away from negativity. I've always had to be, what with family dispute and dealing with not only the mental health of my own, but of loved ones, too. 

One of my favourite pass times is thinking of self aid. What can I do that will make me feel better? Thanks to my mothers incredible nesting skills, I find I'm good at comforting myself back into a state of what I'd class as - happiness.

The other day my friend Esther happened to open the boot of her car, where I saw a book lying there, amongst other bits and bobs. (welcome to Esther's boot, everyone ;). She offered to let me borrow it, after saying she'd found it a good pool side read, on her holiday last week. Its been ages since I've really got stuck into a book. You can't beat a good paper back - no kindle, tablet or laptop is quite the same. I'm really enjoying it so far, (I Found You, by Lisa Jewell). I find books are the only way of letting my mind really escape. You have to physically turn a page, to get onto the next part and you have to fully focus your mind on each word, to grasp the story. Theres no endless scrolling feature, ads or silly videos to distract you. Something I definitely want to make more of a habit of.  

I feel really disheartened sometimes, about how far we've moved away from pen and paper. So much so, I sometimes forget what my hand writing even looks like. I took a trip to Paperchase after work the other day, just for a sneaky gander at the stationary (as you do). I've been thinking about writing letters for ages now, and it reminded me of how me and my grandma used to write letters to each other, when I was around 11/12. I remember how excited I'd feel seeing a hand written envelope waiting for me in the front porch. Despite the fact she only lived up the road, it was such a sweet little way of communication we had. When I saw how gorgeous this letter set was,  how could I resist?! Its actually embossed with gold detail, comes with 20 sheets, 10 envelopes, and was a mere £5. Theres something calming about writing, just like reading. It annoys me how we're all so consumed with technology and its wonderful ways. (She says, typing a blog post on a Macbook). Making more time to write is another thing I want to make time for, even if its just a list of 'to do's' from time to time. 

Aren't flowers just the best thing ever to brighten/lift a room? (and of course, your mood!). Me and my step sister were talking today, about how you just can't beat receiving flowers. On occasion, I will buy myself some flowers to make me feel good, but only if they're cheap or I see them in passing while out shopping etc. I currently have the most BEAUTiful bouquet of roses I've actually ever seen?! On my desk. I've always wondered what it felt like to have flowers delivered to your work/house. When I was super ill last week, I was literally filling out an appeal for a stupid parking ticket I'd got (funnily enough, at the doctors), feeling SUPER shitty, when I looked out of the window to see a little old man shuffle to my door, with a big box of flowers. Surely not for me...he must have the wrong house? were my initial thoughts. I was so overwhelmed by just the personalised note that came with them, I literally burst into tears on the spot, in front of my mum and her friend. BLESS. ME. (Thanks CM ;)). 

This is literally my favourite thing to do. As much as I love getting out there, exploring, visiting places, driving around in my little automobile. Nothing beats preening and pruning my bedroom, changing my bed sheets, lighting my candles, turning on the fairy lights and watching Youtube/Netflix in my little nest. (Admittedly, I do this every night at around 8pm if I have no plans). I am secretly a little door mouse, its true. 

I think its so important to keep yourself grounded in life. In a generation where we're all so consumed with the daily comparisons, horror stories and superficial lives on social media, or the over whelming choices we're given, with near enough everything - from clothes, to entertainment, to interiors, to music. Sometimes I find my little heart is so heavy. I find it quite hard to filter and process things a lot of the time, what I like, what I don't, who I want to be, who I don't etc. Hence why I spend a lot of my time escaping it all in the comforts of my sheets. However, I do feel a whole tonne better once I take some proper time for myself. Eating & drinking well, dressing yourself nicely, spending time to do your hair, treating yourself to nice makeup, making your surroundings smell good. Self love is a wonderful thing, but only if you're good at it. Luckily, I am a firm believer in that, practise makes perfect. 

Is there anything you do to help keep yourself sane in this crazy world we live in? 
Hope you all have a lovely weekend! Thanks for reading, Madi x

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